Innocents Abroad: Episode 3 - Musings, Comments and Observations

Things in Austria fall into different categories, probably much the same as everywhere, I guess. Things that are great in Austria include: the clear air, my breathing is definitely better; the traffic circles (or roundabouts as some call them) work better than 4-way stop sign intersections, traffic definitely moves faster; the food is wonderful, I haven't had anything yet I didn't like except for cold (I think boiled), soggy potatoes in salads, quite popular over here.

Things that are weird and/or strange are numerous. The bedding is really down low so when you get up, you really get up! The bed is two twin mattresses (although a few inches shorter and narrower than an American twin) with jersey style sheets - no mattress pads. No top sheet. No comforters or bedspreads; they have these thin (about inch and a half) down-like comforters that don't tuck in with devet-like covers. That's your top cover, and it keeps coming untucked. I've been fighting the metric system all my life, and now I'm thrust into the middle of it. Kilometers aren't too bad, but I had to bookmark a table with celsius/fahrenheit temps on it. I brought measuring cup and spoons with me for when we have a kitchen since all my recipes have regular measurements. It's strange to see pairs of soldiers patrolling the villages of Siegendorf and Klingenbach dressed in camouflage fatigues and carrying automatic weapons. We were told they're looking for illegal immigrants (Hungarians and Romanians mostly), but the way they stroll right down the sidewalk I would think anyone illegal would more than ample opportunity to hide. John Wayne, Will Smith, Bruce Willis and Harlem guys sound really bizarre in German-dubbed movies. Toilets are strange - hole is in front and water sweeps across from the back; flushing handle is a rectangle on the top. There are lots of TV ads promoting travel to Africa, Malaysia, India and Montenegro.

Commenting on other things:

I'd have to say the drivers here are crazy - they go literally almost flying down the road. Iit's hard to work the washer and dryer with everything in German and the terms not in my dictionary; we're still not sure on what cycle we're drying our clothes. The singers on German Idol (called "Deutsche SuperStar") don't hold a candle to American Idol; they have a Simon type who gets booed when he critiques - obviously negatively - the singers. Contrary to CNN International, no one here seems at all interested in Obama; all they ask us about is swine flu. Euros are pretty although some of the coins are hard to tell apart; since I can't see well up close with the glasses on, you have to peer at the same-color coins to see if they are 1 or 2 euro coins or 50 or 20 cents.

And then there's the biggest lie - everyone in Europe speaks English. Well, maybe they do in the biggest cities. But not that many people around here speak English (despite what we heard), especially those who work in retail, shops, restaurants. Joe Biden looks and sounds like an idiot everywhere. They shake your hand really hard. Rabbits are very friendly and will come right up to you. Mosquitos are bigger and just as aggressive. Dogs are better behaved; pre-school age children are worse behaved. German TV really loves American sitcoms; have spotted Fraser, According to Jim, Home Improvement, Everybody Loves Raymond and MASH. The German language is harder than I remember. Soccer can be fun to watch in person although it's still boring on TV. It would be easier to have someone from here to tell us where stuff is than finding it ourselves. There's a Remax office in nearby Eisenstadt. They're very partial to yellow and orange - on homes, fabrics, etc. Females over the age of about 12 dye their hair the most extraordinary colors; in the stores on the hair dye aisle you see boxes with all different shades of red to fuschia, oranges, purples, etc. They serve sliced cucumber on the breakfast buffet. The old people are universally short, stocky and grim. Almost everyone seems to have a large belly, despite their overall weight; one of the company co-founders wore a shirt the other night that said in Croatian, "A man without a belly is like a sky without stars". After midnight several channels have soft-core porn with a lot of nudity, girls playing with their breasts and simulated sex acts with heavily-tattooed guys.

The villages are really pretty with the row houses painted all kinds of different colors. Eisenstadt is the larger town in the area and is a mix of the old and new. We went into some stores on Saturday and toured the Schloss Esterhazy yesterday - quite beautiful, especially the Haydn auditorium (they don't call it that) which is supposedly acoustically perfect and has an arched painted ceiling which is quite lovely.

And of course there are things that are the same. These include McDonald's; teenagers - hanging out, being loud, posturing for the opposite sex, getting drunk and throwing up in public, smoking; elementary age kids running around, chasing each other, whispering secrets, shrieking; bad acting is bad acting, whether it's in English, German, Croatian or Hungarian. I swear, the other day I was flipping the remote and landed on the only Italian channel. There was a game show of some type on, and the host was singing operatic style, and the contestants answered in regular words. I couldn't understand it, but it was really bizarre.

And of course there are things that suck, including standard transmissions, no ice (and cold drink means barely cool), CNN International, and I think I'm catching a cold

As soon as we get our computer, I can send some pictures. Can't do it on this laptop.

More next time!